Friday, July 16, 2010

Mog World - Yahtzee Croshaw

I do like the cover art.

Fortunately I was spared the tragic mistake of picking this up as an impulse buy by reading the extended nineteen page preview of the book at, Dark Horse Publishing's website. Make no mistake about it, whatever qualities you might find appealing about the online antics of, Yahtzee Croshaw, you'll be hard pressed to find a single one of them between the covers of this book. Unfortunately, this is one of those marketing team projects designed to make money solely on the basis of name recognition. You know how it goes...

Marketing team: "We love what you've got going here with the whole, Yahtzee, thing and we're here to help you capitalize on it while the iron is hot. Celebrity is fleeting, Mr. Croshaw. Especially the Internet kind and if you're going to benefit financially from your current popularity we've got to act fast before the opportunities available to you right now disappear faster than the video games you review."

Yahtzee: "Well, this is all kind of new to me. What do you have in mind?"

Marketing team: "We've already started production on a series of tee-shirts, coffee mugs and buttons, none of that cheap crap mind you, this is all first rate material, assembled in the, United States, and produced to order. All it requires on your part is a link on your website and a small percentage of each sale to cover shipping, handling and manufacturing costs."

Yahtzee: "That's all there is to it?"

Marketing team: "That's just the beginning! Have you ever thought of writing a book?"

Yahtzee: "I read one once, Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, or something like that."

Marketing team: "Don't worry about it. Just throw something together, we'll clean it up in editing, slap a, Grateful Dead, looking cover on it and find a small publisher to sell it online."

Yahtzee: "Well, I'm really not much of a writer per sey..."

Marketing team: "Yahtzee, my man, don't worry about it. You see, we're not selling the literary contents of the book, we're selling the name on the book, Yahtzee Croshaw. Besides, your fans are primarily gamers, not exactly top of the food chain, if you know what we're talking about. They'll probably never even bother to read it once they get it home. It's an impulse purchase..."

Yahtzee: "So that's it?"

Marketing team: "Why, that's just the tip of the iceberg! We're in the final steps of negotiating the closing details on a deal with an online hemp-jewelery company out of, Korea. We're very excited about the, Yahtzee, one hit wonder, line of glass bongs and we just received an email from our perfumer in, China, that they've just begun human testing on the first in your new line of cologne for men called, Joystick."

Sorry, Yahtzee, but in the words of, The Beatles, "You may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer."

Better luck with your cologne...


  1. I wish I had your skills, I wish I could figure out if a book was good or bad without reading it. It'd save me so much time.

    You literally judged a book by it's cover.

    1. I assure you, you overestimate my abilities to judge a book simply by viewing its cover. I actually read a pretty good chunk of the book in advance of its release. I was stunned by the inability of someone so cleverly effectively in his verbal skills online, to so ineffectively communicate the humor and rapier wit he normally displays while speaking, upon paper. He's a great verbal communicator, he's just not a very good writer. It happens...


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